The candy is intelligent for not having sugar. Or perhaps you, the consumer, are astute for purchasing the candy. You get a good grade on this assignment.

Your intelligence is marked by your ability to experience snacking pleasure with few consequences to your health. Let us continue to moralize individual health choices while ignoring larger systemic elements of public health.

Your quick wit indicates an ability to pay double the regular price for a bag of gummy worms. You are so smart for purchasing a bag of candy that's mostly air. You can feel good because you did the smart thing.

4/5 ★★★★☆